*THE WORST MOVIE EVER MADE* My $15 called and made fun of me. How do you fuck up a movie where Scarlett Johansson plays an alien sent to earth to have sex with random strangers? Part of the answer: set it in Scotland. Entire scenes of this movie were shot with the lens cap on. At certain points you’re left wondering if the movie is being streamed off Pandora. But the good news is your sense of smell and hearing will be enhanced during this movie. The bad news is that it happens inside a movie theater. I sure hope no one else ever tries to make an artistic statement by underexposing the film by twelve f-stops. Even the world-class score did not save this film. Awesome trailer though, it really played up the sex and motorcycles; expect it to make a big splash next awards season!

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